Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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