You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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