You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
