I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
