i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
