dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize