Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
