I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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