What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
