i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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