They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
