Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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