At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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