I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
