Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
