white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
