Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
