I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize