I wish I only lived at night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
