He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize