yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
