I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
