Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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