Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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