so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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