hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
