Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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