Banned from zoo.
Again?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize