every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
