I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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