I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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