I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
