Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

(416): View more from Toronto

Better looking than her though please.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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(207): View more from Maine

My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar

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(850): View more from Florida

I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?

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