If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
