sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
wow bdsm is so cute
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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