did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
