the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were trust falling into bushes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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