He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
