haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
