My hand turned me down
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
