She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
