Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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