that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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