His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
