well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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