You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
