On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
