Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize