It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You are a genius and a whore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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