How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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