Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize