my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We got so high we made milksteak
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
