apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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