PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
