@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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