i think my mom watched the whole time
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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