the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Still dying that you shit outside
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
