Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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