Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize