OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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