do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
