there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
