The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
